Thursday, February 6, 2014

A Snowy Day with Authentic Writing!

Today was a beautiful snowy day! We get snow in Dallas, but mostly it is wet and turns to slush pretty fast. Today's snow was so different. I told my students that this was the kind of snow that the northern states get every year that allows them to build awesome snowmen. The snowflakes were so large and we had steady snow from 8:30-2:00. (ish) 

I don't have a window in my room so we didn't get to really appreciate the view.  :(

I decided to turn this potential distraction into a great experience for writing. After our Career Day, we went outside for about 15 minutes. The kids had a blast throwing mini-snowballs and just running around.


After playing in the snow, we talked about what we saw, heard, and felt while outside. We even came up with a few similes.

Prompt: Write about a time when you played in the snow.

Today was the first time that I did not model a plan for our prompt. I am releasing responsibility a little at a time. Yikes! It makes me more nervous than the kids. They jumped on this task and planned like crazy. My group this year really likes to write! (Such a blessing...)

I will post more about our writing process later, if anyone is interested.

A rough draft that has been "Colored up."
The plan for the rough draft above. It has also been "Colored up."
Personal Narrative plan
Personal Narrative Plan

Amber wrote:

     "Today you are going to tell me what you saw, hear, and what you feel when you play in the snow out side," said Mrs. Morris.
     We all felt as exsited as a kid getting presents for their birthday. Yha! said the class now line up Mrs. Morris said.
     When we got out side we saw the whole side walk full of snow even the play ground. The whole class shouted cool so then thats when all the fun begained! We were happ to play in the snow. We thout our hands were going to melt!
     When we came in side our hands were as cold as a popsicle in the frezzer, but we were all right. When we came in the class room we took off our coats, scarfs, jackets, and glooves. When was a time when you plaed in the snow with your class?
(We need to talk about adding more descriptive details and rereading for errors.)

Freddy wrote:

     "Isaiah, Jakai, you want to play snow fight?" I asked.
     "Yeagh Freddy!" They both said in excitment.
     We went outside to look for snow balls to throw. I couldn't wait to play snow fight against my friends. At that point Mrs. Morris opened the door and we looked at all the snow.
     Once we were out side I took another big look at all the snow. Then me, Isaiah, and Jakai began running around throwing snowballs at each other. At one point I acidently hit Veta with a snow ball and she came charging at me like a mad bull. I ran away quickly and luckily she slowed down I got her back by throwing a snowball at her.
     When it was time to go inside, I thought I was whezzing, so I asked the teacher if I could go to the nurse. She let me, when I was there the nurse got my nebulizer and when I was almost done I noticed a book that was about the titanic I read a couple of pages then I went to the classroom.
(We need to talk about straying off topic...)

Corvirious wrote:

     Last year, my stepdad asked, "Do you want to fly to Ohio?" "Yes I do want to fly to Ohio," I told him. I wondered how the flight would be like but, I new the pilot would keep us safe. After the flight my stepsister and stepmom came to pick us up.
     The next morning I woke up to drink something hot, I saw something white outside it was snow! I ran into my room to get some clothes. My brothers and sisters heard me putting on clothes and they did to. After that we woke up my stepdad so he could play with us.
     The ground was full of snow the first thing we did was have a snowball fight for a long time. Next we made snow angel together that was fun sinking into the snow laughing at each other. Last we made a snow family there names were Jay, Pariz, Corday, lee, Asia.
     After we made the snow family we went inside to warm up. I was as cold as a puppy in the snow. Once we got back in my stepmom had hot chocolate. We all had a blast in the snow. How did you feel when you played in the snow?
(We need to talk about run-on sentences.)

Joel wrote:

     "What are some rules for playing in the snow?" asked Mrs. Morris. I knew what we going to do! So we got on our jackets, gloves, and hats. We got to the door exitedley. Right there I felt exited as a kid getting his first dollar! We all rushed outside. After about 5 seconds everybody was outside playing. I went over to my friend Marquis. He told me that his hands were hurting. And I told him the exact same thing. So I went away and I looked to BreAnna when she yelled "Joel!" So then she threw a snow ball at me. I looked at her almost as if I was going to get her back. So I played in the snow for awhile alone until my freind Cody came around. I talked to him for about half a minute. I looked around. And I saw the snow and felt the snow. It was like I went to the coldest place ever. I was as cold as a baby bird coming in the winter. I thought "Finally know one is throwing snowballs at me!" I thougt to soon! I felt a pow pow pow and just then I though Breanna threw a snowball at me so I thougt for half a second who would throw a snowball at me? "Isaiah!" I turned to him and got out a snow ball and was about to throw one back to him until I heard "Time to go back inside." I thought I was going to get him back. We all rushed back inside. It was too crouded. So we all got back in. When was your favorite time in the snow?
(We need to talk about having a stronger ending.)

Overall, I was happy with most of their work. This was the work of about and hour and a half without my help!

I do need to walk them through conclusions...

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